I'm really into asian looking animals
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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