I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
