Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize
