Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize