sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
