i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
