Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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