Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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