absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
