Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
