i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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