You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize