hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
