I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
