I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
