Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
