There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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