I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
