So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
