How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
