There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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