This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
