We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize