She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize