By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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