I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
