i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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