idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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