I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
