We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
