it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
