She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
