You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
