The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
