The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My feet surprised me
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
