y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she was so not down for the gang bang
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I need to calm my uterus...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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