I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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