My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
