Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize