chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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