Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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