Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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