I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
