It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
