All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
