It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize