Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
