Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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