I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
