She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
