Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
