who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
