this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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