Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
