She announced her abortion via fbk
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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