its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
