And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
