I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
