I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
