I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
