Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
