He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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