that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
