There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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