Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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