why didn't you poke me back
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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