no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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