of course. lets lasso hookers.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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