well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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