Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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