Buhtt sex?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
